The Gentle Art of Deepening Relationships Through Gratitude
Written by Britt Ritchie, DNP, PMHNP-BC, is a doctorate-prepared psychiatric nurse practitioner and the founder of Mind Alchemy Mental Health
The Gentle Art of Deepening Relationships Through Gratitude
As the days grow shorter and we gather around tables of gratitude, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the people who shape our lives. This month, Kristin Markey beautifully reminded us that community isn’t simply being around others, it’s the feeling of being supported, seen, and part of something larger than ourselves.
Strong relationships aren’t just emotionally uplifting, they’re profoundly good for our health. Research consistently shows that meaningful social connection improves mental wellbeing, lowers stress hormones, increases longevity, and strengthens the immune system. And when life brings stress, change, or uncertainty, connection acts as a buffer, helping us recalibrate our nervous systems and remember what matters.
This November, we’re invited to lean more intentionally into the relationships that support us. One of the gentlest, yet most powerful ways to do this is through expressing gratitude.
When gratitude is shared, connection deepens.
Why Does Expressing Gratitude Deepen Relationships?
Most of us think of gratitude as something we feel. But something entirely different happens when we take that inner feeling and offer it outward.
When we express gratitude directly to another person, not in a grand speech, but in a simple, sincere moment, it becomes an emotional bridge between two people.
There’s research behind this, but you don’t need a study to know the feeling: that small spark of closeness when someone tells you, “I’m glad you’re in my life,” or “You made my day easier.”
And what’s fascinating is that expressing gratitude doesn’t just strengthen the relationship for the person who hears it. It also strengthens connection for the person who says it.
Why?
Because expressing gratitude is both a communication to them and a reminder to yourself.
When we tell someone what we appreciate about them, we:
Reinforce the value of the relationship in our own minds — It’s like saying: “This matters to me.”
Signal safety, trust, and emotional warmth — Which helps the other person relax into connection.
Invite mutual care and responsiveness — Most people naturally show up more when they feel appreciated.
Create a shared memory of emotional closeness — Something both people can return to in harder moments.
Put simply, expressing gratitude deepens relationships because it turns a private feeling into a shared experience. And shared experience is what bonds us.
What Does Authentic Gratitude Sound Like?
Most of us express gratitude in quick, automatic phrases—little verbal habits we learned growing up such as “Thanks so much,” “I appreciate it,” and “You’re the best.”
There’s nothing wrong with these, but they don’t usually create emotional closeness, and they don’t help in deepening relationships, because they don’t reveal why the moment, or the person, matters to you.
Authentic gratitude is different. It’s not bigger or more dramatic; it’s simply more specific. It names the thing that touched you, and it lets the other person see the impact they’ve had.
To deepen relationships, gratitude generally needs to be:
Specific — Name the actual thing they did or the quality you appreciate.
Personal — Share how it affected your mood, stress level, or sense of support.
Present — Keep it tied to something recent or concrete.
Simple — No perfection or poetic language required.
Here’s the difference…
General:
“Thanks for being such a good friend.”
Deepening:
“I always feel better after we talk. I really appreciate the way you listen without trying to rush me.”
The deepening version does three things:
1. It gives a specific reflection (“the way you listen”).
2. It shares the emotional impact (“I feel better”).
3. It paints a clear picture of what makes the relationship meaningful.
What strengthens connection isn’t eloquence or a perfectly crafted speech, it’s presence and honesty. It’s the willingness to offer one small, genuine sentence that lets someone know they matter.
How Can We Begin Deepening Relationships Through Gratitude?
Deepening relationships doesn’t require dramatic gestures or long, emotional conversations. You don’t have to bare your soul or deliver a heartfelt monologue. Most closeness grows through small, honest moments.
1. Choose one person who brings warmth, steadiness, or ease.
Think of someone who leaves you feeling a little lighter after you interact. Someone who makes your nervous system settle a bit. Someone who shows up in a way that feels comforting rather than draining.
2. Pick one real moment you’re grateful for.
It doesn’t need to be dramatic or life changing. In fact, the smallest moments often carry the most meaning. Look for something recent:
They made you laugh when you needed it
They remembered something small but important
They showed up when you felt overwhelmed
They listened without fixing
They made you feel understood
They brought ease into a difficult day
What we’re looking for is one real moment where their presence mattered.
3. Share it simply.
This is the part that deepens the relationship, not the size of the gratitude, but the act of speaking it.
Here are gentle openings you can borrow:
“I’ve been thinking about how much I appreciate…”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever said this, but…”
“It meant a lot to me when…”
“I feel more grounded when I’m around you.”
“I really valued the way you…”
You’re not trying to be poetic. You’re just letting them see what is already true. And when done consistently, these tiny moments of honesty accumulate. Slowly, gently, they build the kind of emotional closeness that makes relationships feel steady, safe, and fulfilling.
How Do We Make Gratitude a Sustainable Practice?
Deepening relationships happens gradually through these repeated micro-moments of honesty, warmth, and presence. When we express appreciation over time, it creates ongoing connection.
Make this a weekly ritual:
Think of one person.
Someone who crossed your mind, supported you, or simply made your day easier.Notice one thing you genuinely appreciate.
Keep it small, real, and recent.Say it out loud—or offer it in another simple form.
Some easy ways to do this:
A short voice memo
A text that says, “Thinking of you today”
A handwritten note taped to a coffee mug
A warm look followed by one honest sentence
A moment of pausing, turning toward them, and acknowledging something specific
Small, authentic expressions of gratitude build emotional continuity, a steady sense that we see each other and we matter to each other. Over time, those moments weave together into a kind of relational safety net that strengthens and deepens your connections.
A 5-Minute Gratitude Reflection for Deepening Relationships
If you want to ease your way in, here’s a simple reflection you can do in just a few minutes.
Take a moment and consider:
1. Who in your life helps you feel more like yourself?
Think of the person around whom you breathe a little easier or soften a little more.
2. What do they do that makes you feel supported, understood, or seen?
Is it how they listen? Their steadiness? Their humor? Their presence?
3. What is one honest sentence you could say to let them know that today?
Keep it small. Keep it real. Keep it you.
And then remind yourself: Even if your voice is quiet, if it feels unfamiliar, or seems too simple, these small expressions of truth are what deepen relationships over time. Connection doesn’t grow from grand declarations; it grows in the saying. In the brave little moments when we choose to let someone know they matter.
About the Author
Britt Ritchie, DNP, PMHNP-BC, is a doctorate-prepared psychiatric nurse practitioner and the founder of Mind Alchemy Mental Health, a boutique integrative psychiatry practice based in Denver, Colorado.
You can learn more about Britt’s practice at www.mindalchemymentalhealth.com or connect with her on Instagramor LinkedIn.